Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened to come upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: "I don't freakin' think so!"
Monday, July 14, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Happy Month for Movies and Music
First off, I'm not a huge movie buff. I'd rather do homework than sit on my butt watching a pointless film while my life ticks away. It's not that I have anything against movies as a leisurely activity, it's just that I get mega depressed watching beautiful people doing exciting things through a glass screen while I lie on a dirty apartment couch fattening myself up on kettle korn. It's like watching the TV show Friends in a friendless apartment. You can't help but feel your lack of coolness in comparison.
But secondly, I do like a good flick every now and then. And, thanks to rottentomatoes.com, I can now eliminate all stupid films from my life (i.e. anything with The Rock, Nicolas Cage, Anime characters, Seth Graves-type films, typical flicks about an ugly girl getting miraculously gorgeous and popular over night (which, of course, saves her from the inevitable doom of just being and looking like herself--the horror!), and those tricky films that are really good except for that one part (I now want you to imagine a delicious ice cream sundae with a happy cockroach friend crawling out of the scoop of pralines and cream and burping in your face--thank you Mormon Ads)).
Ok, so enough with the bad ("Live free, die well! ARRGGG!!!" -The Rock, Scorpion King), and on to the good!
Kung Fu Panda - One potentially stupid movie made hilarious by the comical genius of Jack Black. I tell you what, I was laughing my head off in the theatre, but when I try to quote the movie, it's not that funny. What is it about Jack Black's vocal intonations that make even the simplest phrases hilarious? Do we all remember Black in King Kong? Now, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he was supposed to play a straight-forward, serious character, but even in their moments of peril with the t-rexes smashing the tiny island to bits he sounded funny to me. Anywho, kudos to Black for another funny flick that is family friendly. Go see it, if only for the first five minute dream sequence. Best line? "There is no charge for awesomeness, or attractiveness." And trust me, it may not look funny on paper, but you'll bust a gut in the theatre.
WALL-E - Pixar . . . need I say more? No I don't, but I will. It's creative. It's powerful. It's brilliant. It's fun. It's green, but not in a lay-stretched-across-the-road-to-save-a-crossing-duck sort of way. It's my favorite film of the year, so far. I don't know how, but Pixar managed to
mash an assortment of poignant themes and textures into a fine piece of work. While it is set in the future and the robots and spaceships give you a star trekish/star wars type feel, the music from Hello Dolly is scattered throughout the film, giving you a sense of nostalgia for the past and a fear for what the future may be if we, as responsible humans, don't do something about it now. Pixar also created an endearing and believable romance between two abiotic robots. Wow. So yes, I'd give this film two thumbs up, plus my two big toes, and maybe some more thumbs up if I could find 'em or grow 'em somehow. Not to be gross or nothin' . . . ah hem.
Future Flicks to be giddy about: Batman: The Dark Knight--can't wait for the creepiness factor in this one and seriously, when has Christian Bale ever let us down? And, what I suspect will be my guilty pleasure this summer: Mamma Mia! I'll just admit it now--I love ABBA. I love ABBA singing ABBA, I love Erasure singing ABBA, I love my sister Rachel singing ABBA (and man does she do some great interpretive dancing to some of their tunes). So could life possible get any better when we have incredible people like Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, and Meryl Streep rocking out to the tunes of Disco legends??? I think not.
And now on to the music.
It has been a very musically successful month for me. I find myself surrounded by good music. My iTunes account is sitting all plump and purdy while my buyer's guilt has skyrocketed. Oy! There's just too much good music out there and not enough time or money to harvest it all.
Missy Higgins: Found her on Pandora while listening to a modern folk-type mix and dang! have I been missing out. Where has Missy been all my life? First bonus point: she's from Australia, which means her vocal intonations are sensational, unique, and delicious. Second of all, she's diverse; she's got sass, and soul, and sorrow, and spirit. And third, she keeps things simple. She sticks to the guitar or piano and doesn't muck up her sound with too much instrumental garbage. And her lyrical messages are clear and poignant. As fun as it can be to decode some artist's lyrics (only to find that they don't make much sense anyway because the artist wrote them while they were wasted) it's nice every now and again to listen to someone who is just straight forward and honest with their feelings about life. Recommended songs to sample: "Peachy", "Where I Stood", and "Scar".
Brandi Carlile: I first heard her song, "The Story", from a free iTunes download and then continued to bump into her on Pandora. (If you haven't checked out Pandora.com yet, I'd recommend. Imeem.com is also good if you're looking for a more selective approach to eRadio.) Her vocals and rich, raw, and real. It's not every day that you can find a woman with the vocal prowess to rip and whale into a piece without sounding like a gimpy imitation of Metallica. Wow, this woman has some power. And she's a folk artist, which automatically gives her five gold stars in my book. Mmm, mmm... Other recommended songs: "Turpentine", "The Story", and "Cannonball". And if you like her, you'll love Patty Griffin, and vice versa. But we'll save Patty for another day. She deserves a post all to herself.
Fauxliage: This is the gal singer from Sixpence None the Richer collaborating her vocals with a fuller and more expansive style. Reminds me of the depth and breadth of Sarah Brightman's music, minus the operatic vocals. It's enchanting. Let the music speak for itself--check out the song, "Let It Go". One listen and you'll be converted. :)
Where the Light Is: Saving the best for last! Can we even begin to explain the wonder that is John Mayer? Yeah, I know some of you out there may have been turned off back in '03 when "Your Body is a Wonderland" was beaten into the ground by DJs who overplayed it. But that was five years ago. It is time to forgive, forget, and move on. I would hate to think that someone who is just as great as Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix is missing from the musical lives of so many people just because they are stuck on the pop-prejudices of Mayer's journey into the lime-light. And get your jaw off of the floor and that shocked look off your face. Yes, Mayer is as good as Clapton and Hendrix. Don't believe me? Listen to John Mayer Trio. Hearing is believing. I mean, come on, this guy has done work with all sorts of folk across the music world, from Clapton himself, to the Dixie Chicks, Rob Thomas, Herbie Hancock (!!!), and let's not forget the fantastic Cross Roads performance Mayer did with Brad Paisley (Another phenomenal guitarist who is all too sadly understated). I think it's safe to say that Mayer is going to be around for a long time. Ok, so enough with this validating stuff, and onto the meat: "Where the Light Is." Wow, what a great collection of the best of what John Mayer does best: Acoustic, Blues, and Rock. And vocally our boy John has really come a long way. John isn't a
vocalist, he's a guitarist, but his vocals are getting stronger and he is leaving his whispy, semi-creepy sounding days behind him. And all the more power to him and his music! His vocals are especially impressive on the acoustic tracks, "Free Falling" (an exceptional cover), and "In Your Atmosphere". The John Mayer Trio set really gives John a chance to showcase his phenomenal guitar skills and also highlights the all too talented Steve Jordan on drums and Pino Palladino on bass. Check out the performance of, "Out of My Mind", on YouTube from the "Where the Light Is" performance if you can. Killer attitude, Mayer gets really snotty on this one. Ooo, I love it. And I really don't think I can emphasize enough how mad his guitar skills are. Really, if you're not a believer yet, give him one last shot. You might find yourself reborn. Let's stop thinking of Mayer as a cheap Pop Boy. It's time for a paradigm shift in music culture. Let's recognize Mayer for the talented artist and man that he is. Can't wait to see him in SLC!
Extra! Extra! Some other great tracks to check out this week:
"Just Like Heaven (Cover)" -Katie Melua
"Don't Wake Me Up" -The Hush Sound
"Silver Lining" - Rilo Kiley
"One Man Wrecking Machine" -Guster
But secondly, I do like a good flick every now and then. And, thanks to rottentomatoes.com, I can now eliminate all stupid films from my life (i.e. anything with The Rock, Nicolas Cage, Anime characters, Seth Graves-type films, typical flicks about an ugly girl getting miraculously gorgeous and popular over night (which, of course, saves her from the inevitable doom of just being and looking like herself--the horror!), and those tricky films that are really good except for that one part (I now want you to imagine a delicious ice cream sundae with a happy cockroach friend crawling out of the scoop of pralines and cream and burping in your face--thank you Mormon Ads)).
Ok, so enough with the bad ("Live free, die well! ARRGGG!!!" -The Rock, Scorpion King), and on to the good!
Kung Fu Panda - One potentially stupid movie made hilarious by the comical genius of Jack Black. I tell you what, I was laughing my head off in the theatre, but when I try to quote the movie, it's not that funny. What is it about Jack Black's vocal intonations that make even the simplest phrases hilarious? Do we all remember Black in King Kong? Now, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he was supposed to play a straight-forward, serious character, but even in their moments of peril with the t-rexes smashing the tiny island to bits he sounded funny to me. Anywho, kudos to Black for another funny flick that is family friendly. Go see it, if only for the first five minute dream sequence. Best line? "There is no charge for awesomeness, or attractiveness." And trust me, it may not look funny on paper, but you'll bust a gut in the theatre.WALL-E - Pixar . . . need I say more? No I don't, but I will. It's creative. It's powerful. It's brilliant. It's fun. It's green, but not in a lay-stretched-across-the-road-to-save-a-crossing-duck sort of way. It's my favorite film of the year, so far. I don't know how, but Pixar managed to
mash an assortment of poignant themes and textures into a fine piece of work. While it is set in the future and the robots and spaceships give you a star trekish/star wars type feel, the music from Hello Dolly is scattered throughout the film, giving you a sense of nostalgia for the past and a fear for what the future may be if we, as responsible humans, don't do something about it now. Pixar also created an endearing and believable romance between two abiotic robots. Wow. So yes, I'd give this film two thumbs up, plus my two big toes, and maybe some more thumbs up if I could find 'em or grow 'em somehow. Not to be gross or nothin' . . . ah hem.Future Flicks to be giddy about: Batman: The Dark Knight--can't wait for the creepiness factor in this one and seriously, when has Christian Bale ever let us down? And, what I suspect will be my guilty pleasure this summer: Mamma Mia! I'll just admit it now--I love ABBA. I love ABBA singing ABBA, I love Erasure singing ABBA, I love my sister Rachel singing ABBA (and man does she do some great interpretive dancing to some of their tunes). So could life possible get any better when we have incredible people like Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, and Meryl Streep rocking out to the tunes of Disco legends??? I think not.
And now on to the music.
It has been a very musically successful month for me. I find myself surrounded by good music. My iTunes account is sitting all plump and purdy while my buyer's guilt has skyrocketed. Oy! There's just too much good music out there and not enough time or money to harvest it all.
Missy Higgins: Found her on Pandora while listening to a modern folk-type mix and dang! have I been missing out. Where has Missy been all my life? First bonus point: she's from Australia, which means her vocal intonations are sensational, unique, and delicious. Second of all, she's diverse; she's got sass, and soul, and sorrow, and spirit. And third, she keeps things simple. She sticks to the guitar or piano and doesn't muck up her sound with too much instrumental garbage. And her lyrical messages are clear and poignant. As fun as it can be to decode some artist's lyrics (only to find that they don't make much sense anyway because the artist wrote them while they were wasted) it's nice every now and again to listen to someone who is just straight forward and honest with their feelings about life. Recommended songs to sample: "Peachy", "Where I Stood", and "Scar".
Brandi Carlile: I first heard her song, "The Story", from a free iTunes download and then continued to bump into her on Pandora. (If you haven't checked out Pandora.com yet, I'd recommend. Imeem.com is also good if you're looking for a more selective approach to eRadio.) Her vocals and rich, raw, and real. It's not every day that you can find a woman with the vocal prowess to rip and whale into a piece without sounding like a gimpy imitation of Metallica. Wow, this woman has some power. And she's a folk artist, which automatically gives her five gold stars in my book. Mmm, mmm... Other recommended songs: "Turpentine", "The Story", and "Cannonball". And if you like her, you'll love Patty Griffin, and vice versa. But we'll save Patty for another day. She deserves a post all to herself.
Fauxliage: This is the gal singer from Sixpence None the Richer collaborating her vocals with a fuller and more expansive style. Reminds me of the depth and breadth of Sarah Brightman's music, minus the operatic vocals. It's enchanting. Let the music speak for itself--check out the song, "Let It Go". One listen and you'll be converted. :)
Where the Light Is: Saving the best for last! Can we even begin to explain the wonder that is John Mayer? Yeah, I know some of you out there may have been turned off back in '03 when "Your Body is a Wonderland" was beaten into the ground by DJs who overplayed it. But that was five years ago. It is time to forgive, forget, and move on. I would hate to think that someone who is just as great as Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix is missing from the musical lives of so many people just because they are stuck on the pop-prejudices of Mayer's journey into the lime-light. And get your jaw off of the floor and that shocked look off your face. Yes, Mayer is as good as Clapton and Hendrix. Don't believe me? Listen to John Mayer Trio. Hearing is believing. I mean, come on, this guy has done work with all sorts of folk across the music world, from Clapton himself, to the Dixie Chicks, Rob Thomas, Herbie Hancock (!!!), and let's not forget the fantastic Cross Roads performance Mayer did with Brad Paisley (Another phenomenal guitarist who is all too sadly understated). I think it's safe to say that Mayer is going to be around for a long time. Ok, so enough with this validating stuff, and onto the meat: "Where the Light Is." Wow, what a great collection of the best of what John Mayer does best: Acoustic, Blues, and Rock. And vocally our boy John has really come a long way. John isn't a
vocalist, he's a guitarist, but his vocals are getting stronger and he is leaving his whispy, semi-creepy sounding days behind him. And all the more power to him and his music! His vocals are especially impressive on the acoustic tracks, "Free Falling" (an exceptional cover), and "In Your Atmosphere". The John Mayer Trio set really gives John a chance to showcase his phenomenal guitar skills and also highlights the all too talented Steve Jordan on drums and Pino Palladino on bass. Check out the performance of, "Out of My Mind", on YouTube from the "Where the Light Is" performance if you can. Killer attitude, Mayer gets really snotty on this one. Ooo, I love it. And I really don't think I can emphasize enough how mad his guitar skills are. Really, if you're not a believer yet, give him one last shot. You might find yourself reborn. Let's stop thinking of Mayer as a cheap Pop Boy. It's time for a paradigm shift in music culture. Let's recognize Mayer for the talented artist and man that he is. Can't wait to see him in SLC!Extra! Extra! Some other great tracks to check out this week:
"Just Like Heaven (Cover)" -Katie Melua
"Don't Wake Me Up" -The Hush Sound
"Silver Lining" - Rilo Kiley
"One Man Wrecking Machine" -Guster
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Gizoogle
Same post, transformizzled by da powa of gizoogle.com
...Fo all you wanna be gangstas.
The ABC Game...and no, I'm not rapping `bout gum here
So, I totally stole this fizzle mah homie Marianne, but I thought it was nizzy (phrase should be said in tha same way you'd say, "We is tha same height--that is nizzy.)
A-Attached or Single? Single, n whizzay a beautiful thing it is ta be like this and like that and like this and uh. I bought food fo` me fo` tha F-to-tha-izzirst tizzle yesterday ya feelin' me?. It was liberat'n in a new sort of way so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.
B-Best Homie? I hizzle loads of 'em: Adrienne, Charise, Rebecca, R-to-tha-izzick, Andrea, Mom, Jeff...ok, maybe that's not "loads" but I fizzy like I am blessed wit a healthy stock of thugz who love me. :)
C- Cakes or Pie? Pie, preferably made witout a food processor so as one may not enta tha rizzy of doggy stylin' one's index finga ta shreds in tha dogg pound. (Trust me on this one.)
D-Day of Choice? Hmm, Monday? I usually feel funky n refreshed fizzy oversleep'n on tha weekend.
E-Essential Items? J-to-tha-izzohn Poser album Continuum,honey n oat granola bizzars, chacos, n cizzay phone.
F- Favorite color? Coral n a funky turquoisizzle green. I'm obsessed.
G-Gummy Bears or Worms? Like, earth worms? Yo!
H-Hometown?Highland, UT. Preferred hometown? Da ghetto Highlands of Scotland.
I-Favorite Indulgence? Expensive almond granola bar fizzle BYU bookstore wit Ocean Spray grapefruit juice . Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. I git 'em gangsta every exam as a reward...and sometizzles jizzle whizzay I feel like it too. OooOOoo, also good: chocolate covered cinnamon bears--Drop it like its hot!
J-January or July? Wiznell, tizzle depends. Am I snowboard'n or hik'n�?
K-Kids?Kids is very cute, n expensive. I'm not quite blingin' enough...but someday whiznen mah teacha's salary kicks in....dang!
L-Life isn't complete witout? Religion, Family, Health n Education...and Chocolate...and possibly John Mayer.
M-Marriage Date? Seriously? People go on dates where tha activity is ta git married? Is that everyone's big secret in Provo. Sheesh, I sure missed tha memo on that one . Aint no stoppin' this gansta female.
Rizzy answa�? Hell no.
Pimp of brotha n sista�? Preface: I'm not ly'n� fo yo. 8 brotha n 6 beautiful sista�. We is a pretty hot family. Included in tha hot bunch is 4 swiznell step bros and all, mah mom did not have all 15 of us, J-to-tha-izzust a healthy amount of 11 . Death row 187 4 life.
O-Oranges or Apples? Fo rizzle?
P-Phobia n Fears? I'm afraid of tha dizzark, whizzich means I am afraid of all monstas (unda tha bizned, in mah closet, steppin' outside of mah door. I hizzle ta kneel on mah bed wizzle I say mah even'n praya...and yes, I am 21.) I'm also afraid of ghosts, werewizzles wolves, mackin' wit fangs really, tha devil, cellulizzles zombies (let's not even rap `bout tha movie "I Am Legend.") Bizzay thankfully I am NOT afraid of baller. They're quite lovely.
Q-Quote?This one really fits mah situation as of late with my forty-fo' mag: "I hope life isn't a joke, coz I D-to-tha-izzon't git it." --Jack Handy
R-Reason ta smile? My birthday in next Monday!! Which means tin fizzle dinna n Bunco up tha canyon wit mah family!!!
S-Season of choice? Summa--no contest.
T-Tag ten people? No. Dag yo.
U-Unknown fizzle `bout me? Fizzay . Hollaz to the East Side: contrary ta popular belief I like stylin' some movies (they mizzle be of H-to-tha-izzigh historizzles or comical quality) n I also like stylin' video games...ok, jiznust mario cart n guitar hero, but video games, neverthizzles.
V-Vegetable? Artichokes--they makes blingin' so piznosh.
W-Worse habit? Facebizzle is tha ultimate time-suck'n black hizzy of crazy gansta surf'n doom!!!
Y-yo favorite food? I really love all food, but some favorizzles is Mom's twice baked potatoes n corn flakes chicken, Rick's Thai curry, Brotha Bueno Bars, Betos' Bacon Breakfast Burritos (izzle tizzy 10 times fast), anyth'n Rachel n Cheryl make, n Cadbury chocolate fo gettin yo pimp on.
Z-Zodiac Sign? Canca....yeah, I'm pretty crabby. ;)
...Fo all you wanna be gangstas.
The ABC Game...and no, I'm not rapping `bout gum here
So, I totally stole this fizzle mah homie Marianne, but I thought it was nizzy (phrase should be said in tha same way you'd say, "We is tha same height--that is nizzy.)
A-Attached or Single? Single, n whizzay a beautiful thing it is ta be like this and like that and like this and uh. I bought food fo` me fo` tha F-to-tha-izzirst tizzle yesterday ya feelin' me?. It was liberat'n in a new sort of way so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.
B-Best Homie? I hizzle loads of 'em: Adrienne, Charise, Rebecca, R-to-tha-izzick, Andrea, Mom, Jeff...ok, maybe that's not "loads" but I fizzy like I am blessed wit a healthy stock of thugz who love me. :)
C- Cakes or Pie? Pie, preferably made witout a food processor so as one may not enta tha rizzy of doggy stylin' one's index finga ta shreds in tha dogg pound. (Trust me on this one.)
D-Day of Choice? Hmm, Monday? I usually feel funky n refreshed fizzy oversleep'n on tha weekend.
E-Essential Items? J-to-tha-izzohn Poser album Continuum,honey n oat granola bizzars, chacos, n cizzay phone.
F- Favorite color? Coral n a funky turquoisizzle green. I'm obsessed.
G-Gummy Bears or Worms? Like, earth worms? Yo!
H-Hometown?Highland, UT. Preferred hometown? Da ghetto Highlands of Scotland.
I-Favorite Indulgence? Expensive almond granola bar fizzle BYU bookstore wit Ocean Spray grapefruit juice . Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. I git 'em gangsta every exam as a reward...and sometizzles jizzle whizzay I feel like it too. OooOOoo, also good: chocolate covered cinnamon bears--Drop it like its hot!
J-January or July? Wiznell, tizzle depends. Am I snowboard'n or hik'n�?
K-Kids?Kids is very cute, n expensive. I'm not quite blingin' enough...but someday whiznen mah teacha's salary kicks in....dang!
L-Life isn't complete witout? Religion, Family, Health n Education...and Chocolate...and possibly John Mayer.
M-Marriage Date? Seriously? People go on dates where tha activity is ta git married? Is that everyone's big secret in Provo. Sheesh, I sure missed tha memo on that one . Aint no stoppin' this gansta female.
Rizzy answa�? Hell no.
Pimp of brotha n sista�? Preface: I'm not ly'n� fo yo. 8 brotha n 6 beautiful sista�. We is a pretty hot family. Included in tha hot bunch is 4 swiznell step bros and all, mah mom did not have all 15 of us, J-to-tha-izzust a healthy amount of 11 . Death row 187 4 life.
O-Oranges or Apples? Fo rizzle?
P-Phobia n Fears? I'm afraid of tha dizzark, whizzich means I am afraid of all monstas (unda tha bizned, in mah closet, steppin' outside of mah door. I hizzle ta kneel on mah bed wizzle I say mah even'n praya...and yes, I am 21.) I'm also afraid of ghosts, werewizzles wolves, mackin' wit fangs really, tha devil, cellulizzles zombies (let's not even rap `bout tha movie "I Am Legend.") Bizzay thankfully I am NOT afraid of baller. They're quite lovely.
Q-Quote?This one really fits mah situation as of late with my forty-fo' mag: "I hope life isn't a joke, coz I D-to-tha-izzon't git it." --Jack Handy
R-Reason ta smile? My birthday in next Monday!! Which means tin fizzle dinna n Bunco up tha canyon wit mah family!!!
S-Season of choice? Summa--no contest.
T-Tag ten people? No. Dag yo.
U-Unknown fizzle `bout me? Fizzay . Hollaz to the East Side: contrary ta popular belief I like stylin' some movies (they mizzle be of H-to-tha-izzigh historizzles or comical quality) n I also like stylin' video games...ok, jiznust mario cart n guitar hero, but video games, neverthizzles.
V-Vegetable? Artichokes--they makes blingin' so piznosh.
W-Worse habit? Facebizzle is tha ultimate time-suck'n black hizzy of crazy gansta surf'n doom!!!
Y-yo favorite food? I really love all food, but some favorizzles is Mom's twice baked potatoes n corn flakes chicken, Rick's Thai curry, Brotha Bueno Bars, Betos' Bacon Breakfast Burritos (izzle tizzy 10 times fast), anyth'n Rachel n Cheryl make, n Cadbury chocolate fo gettin yo pimp on.
Z-Zodiac Sign? Canca....yeah, I'm pretty crabby. ;)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The ABC Game...and no, I'm not talking about gum here
So, I totally stole this from my friend Marianne, but I thought it was neat (phrase should be said in the same way you'd say, "We are the same height--that is neat.)
A-Attached or Single? Single, and what a beautiful thing it is to be. I bought food for myself for the first time yesterday. It was liberating in a new sort of way.
B-Best Friend? I have loads of 'em: Adrienne, Charise, Rebecca, Rick, Andrea, Mom, Jeff...ok, maybe that's not "loads" but I feel like I am blessed with a healthy stock of people who love me. :)
C- Cake or Pie? Pie, preferably made WITHOUT a food processor so as one may not enter the risk of slashing one's index finger to shreds. (Trust me on this one.)
D-Day of Choice? Hmm, Monday? I usually feel nice and refreshed from oversleeping on the weekend.
E-Essential Items? John Mayer's album Continuum, honey and oat granola bars, chacos, and cell phone.
F- Favorite color? Coral and a nice turquoise-ocean green. I'm obsessed.
G-Gummy Bears or Worms? Like, earth worms?
H-Hometown? Highland, UT. Preferred hometown? Highlands of Scotland.
I-Favorite Indulgence? Expensive almond granola bar from BYU bookstore with Ocean Spray grapefruit juice. I get 'em after every exam as a reward...and sometimes just when I feel like it too. OooOOoo, also good: chocolate covered cinnamon bears--oh boy!
J-January or July? Well, that depends. Am I snowboarding or hiking?
K-Kids? Kids are very cute, and expensive. I'm not quite rich enough...but someday when my teacher's salary kicks in....
L-Life isn't complete without? Religion, Family, Health and Education...and Chocolate...and possibly John Mayer.
M-Marriage Date? Seriously? People go on dates where the activity is to get married? Is that everyone's big secret in Provo. Sheesh, I sure missed the memo on that one.
Real answer? Hell no.
N-Number of brothers and sisters? Preface: I'm not lying. 8 brothers and 6 beautiful sisters. We are a pretty hot family. Included in the hot bunch are 4 swell step siblings...so no, my mom did not have all 15 of us, just a healthy amount of 11.
O-Oranges or Apples? Yes?
P-Phobia and Fears? I'm afraid of the dark, which means I am afraid of all monsters (under the bed, in my closet, lurking outside of my door. I have to kneel on my bed when I say my evening prayers...and yes, I am 21.) I'm also afraid of ghosts, werewolves, wolves, anythings with fangs really, the devil, cellulite, zombies (let's not even talk about the movie "I Am Legend.") But, thankfully I am NOT afraid of spiders. They're quite lovely.
Q-Quote? This one really fits my situation as of late: "I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it." --Jack Handy
R-Reason to smile? My birthday in next Monday!! Which means tin foil dinners and Bunco up the canyon with my family!!!
S-Season of choice? Summer--no contest.
T-Tag ten people? No.
U-Unknown fact about me? Fact: contrary to popular belief I like watching some movies (they must be of high historical or comical quality) and I also like playing video games...ok, just mario cart and guitar hero, but video games, nevertheless.
V-Vegetable? Artichokes--they make everything so posh.
W-Worse habit? Facebook...it is the ultimate time-sucking black hole of cyber surfing doom!!!
Y-Your favorite food? I really love all food, but some favorites are Mom's twice baked potatoes and corn flake chicken, Rick's Thai curry, Kinder Bueno Bars, Betos' Bacon Breakfast Burritos (say that 10 times fast), anything Rachel and Cheryl make, and Cadbury chocolate.
Z-Zodiac Sign? Cancer....yeah, I'm pretty crabby. ;)
A-Attached or Single? Single, and what a beautiful thing it is to be. I bought food for myself for the first time yesterday. It was liberating in a new sort of way.
B-Best Friend? I have loads of 'em: Adrienne, Charise, Rebecca, Rick, Andrea, Mom, Jeff...ok, maybe that's not "loads" but I feel like I am blessed with a healthy stock of people who love me. :)
C- Cake or Pie? Pie, preferably made WITHOUT a food processor so as one may not enter the risk of slashing one's index finger to shreds. (Trust me on this one.)
D-Day of Choice? Hmm, Monday? I usually feel nice and refreshed from oversleeping on the weekend.
E-Essential Items? John Mayer's album Continuum, honey and oat granola bars, chacos, and cell phone.
F- Favorite color? Coral and a nice turquoise-ocean green. I'm obsessed.
G-Gummy Bears or Worms? Like, earth worms?
H-Hometown? Highland, UT. Preferred hometown? Highlands of Scotland.
I-Favorite Indulgence? Expensive almond granola bar from BYU bookstore with Ocean Spray grapefruit juice. I get 'em after every exam as a reward...and sometimes just when I feel like it too. OooOOoo, also good: chocolate covered cinnamon bears--oh boy!
J-January or July? Well, that depends. Am I snowboarding or hiking?
K-Kids? Kids are very cute, and expensive. I'm not quite rich enough...but someday when my teacher's salary kicks in....
L-Life isn't complete without? Religion, Family, Health and Education...and Chocolate...and possibly John Mayer.
M-Marriage Date? Seriously? People go on dates where the activity is to get married? Is that everyone's big secret in Provo. Sheesh, I sure missed the memo on that one.
Real answer? Hell no.
N-Number of brothers and sisters? Preface: I'm not lying. 8 brothers and 6 beautiful sisters. We are a pretty hot family. Included in the hot bunch are 4 swell step siblings...so no, my mom did not have all 15 of us, just a healthy amount of 11.
O-Oranges or Apples? Yes?
P-Phobia and Fears? I'm afraid of the dark, which means I am afraid of all monsters (under the bed, in my closet, lurking outside of my door. I have to kneel on my bed when I say my evening prayers...and yes, I am 21.) I'm also afraid of ghosts, werewolves, wolves, anythings with fangs really, the devil, cellulite, zombies (let's not even talk about the movie "I Am Legend.") But, thankfully I am NOT afraid of spiders. They're quite lovely.
Q-Quote? This one really fits my situation as of late: "I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it." --Jack Handy
R-Reason to smile? My birthday in next Monday!! Which means tin foil dinners and Bunco up the canyon with my family!!!
S-Season of choice? Summer--no contest.
T-Tag ten people? No.
U-Unknown fact about me? Fact: contrary to popular belief I like watching some movies (they must be of high historical or comical quality) and I also like playing video games...ok, just mario cart and guitar hero, but video games, nevertheless.
V-Vegetable? Artichokes--they make everything so posh.
W-Worse habit? Facebook...it is the ultimate time-sucking black hole of cyber surfing doom!!!
Y-Your favorite food? I really love all food, but some favorites are Mom's twice baked potatoes and corn flake chicken, Rick's Thai curry, Kinder Bueno Bars, Betos' Bacon Breakfast Burritos (say that 10 times fast), anything Rachel and Cheryl make, and Cadbury chocolate.
Z-Zodiac Sign? Cancer....yeah, I'm pretty crabby. ;)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
A Brand New Colony
So a fellow in our office had a pretty bad fever yesterday. I just ran into him on my bathroom break and he seems to be doing well. Our bodies are so strange. 103 degrees yesterday and now he's feeling peachy-keen. Reminded me of the time I was about seven and Mom was out of town and I got a high fever. Cheryl took on her natural role as the caregiver and offered me toast and steaming Jello to eat. She took my temperature, which was 104 and immediately talked to Ryan. I learned in my CPR and First Aid certification class that once your temperature gets to 105-106 you start experiencing brain damage. As I weakly lied in my pink bed in the girl's room downstairs, Ryan gave me a blessing. I don't remember too many details after that, but I know I drifted off to sleep sometime soon and felt much better the next morning, as my had fever subsided. Although I don't remember a lot of details from this memory, I do remember the feelings; the healing power of the blessing and the love of my siblings, Cheryl and Ryan, the two people in my family who I consider to have the gifts of comfort and healing. I really miss Ryan, and Genene. In a perfect world we could establish our own little colony with our family. Ryan, Clay, and Ryan G. could be the doctors. Dave Southam and Kelly would oversee our colony's finances and Dave would also help with construction developments. We would have gorgeous grounds, thanks to Jason, Shaun, and Darrell, and David could arrange all of our out-of-colony excursions. And Daniel? Shoot, he could do anything! Marty could keep all of our kids spiritual and Emily could teach them music theory. We'd have some amazing musicians. Christy will keep our houses smelling sweet and our scrapbooks a comin'. Kim, of course, would be our building designer and decorator--our buildings would be stunning. Genene could run the gym and teach the gymnastic and aerobic classes and the yoga and biking classes could be Andrea's. Rachel could be our chef and artist--we would eat like kings! Kris Anne and I would keep the young'ns educated and literate and during my time off, I would take to gardening with Mom. Neil could be the great story teller--the one the kids would gather around during bonfire festivals to hear legends and folklore. No question that our cars would all run soundly--our family's just brimming with skilled handymen. Greg could teach us all to be bilingual, in Spanish and English, and trilingual in humor. Heather could be in charge of the athletics; volleyball would be a must. And Maren, she's like Daniel: she could do anything and do well. But, I'd place her in the school with me and Kris, and I'd also put her on the party planning committee, and generally put her wherever I would be because then we could hang out all day. Debbie's family would naturally be part of our colony. Her kids would keep us entertained with their plays and speeches and concerts. And Debbie could take a load off of her feet and just hang out by the pool, sipping a cold glass of Pepsi. Heidi could be in charge of importing hot Hawaiian boys for me and Andrea to date, and then she could take a load off of her feet as well and join Debbie by the pool. I'd place Mom by the pool too, but I know she would get restless and start working on project or another and leave the pool--plus, she hates the heat.
While we probably couldn't provide our colony with ever resource, I can think of a few resources that would be vital to our survival as a people: food and music. We would have acres and acres of field and pasture and then we could put all the grandkids to work (ok, not in any sort of child labor way. We'd give 'em water breaks every ten hours or so...) and teach them the art of farming: the crisp coolness of June mornings before the sun comes up, soft dirt under your fingernails, the sun on your neck, the smell of cut grass, the dry itchiness from powdering corn, and the satisfaction you feel when the sun is going down and you can set down to a cool glass of water or lemonade after a long day of work. Or better, sitting down to a homegrown Sunday dinner: red potatoes, cucumbers with vinegar and salt, cherry tomatoes, corn, beans, and steak from the beef cow that was once so lovingly our pet.
I miss the simple life. I miss my childhood. But most of all, I miss my family.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Arizona at last
The mission statement at Anasazi is "to prepare parents and children to turn their hearts to one another, begin anew, and walk in harmony in the wilderness of the world." As employees, they ask us to live by the same standards we require the YoungWalkers to live and to also participate in turning our hearts towards our families. Consequently, you should all be expecting a whole heck of a lot more phone calls from me this summer, and I have also decided to revamp my dust ridden blog. I have really missed you all so much already. There's no one I want more after a long, hot, cactus-infested day in the desert than my family and especially my mother. I love the job so far, but really miss our weekly get-togethers. I'm excited to see everyone when I make my visits this summer.
Work has been going well--just a lot of training so far. We spent the first three days of training "on the trail" in the north-east Arizona wilderness. We went through a few varying desert climates on our way up to our camping location, gathering supplies from fallen vegetation and learning which plants were useful, edible, medicinal, and deadly. While we were cutting down the stalk of a yucca plant for fire boards a carpenter bee flew out. Inside the stalk was a rich deposit of desert honey, which is a bit grainier in texture but just as good as honey. I'm learning that even in the desert, there are endless resources available to us. I'm also quickly learning that cacti spines are unpleasant in toes and that clothing is the best kind of sunscreen around. I can happily report zero sunburns--thanks to my long sleeves and wide brimmed hat. Thanks for the years of advice, Mom; it has finally sunken in.
During our three days of outdoor training we went to work with our knives and machetes, making our fire sets, bows, knife sheaths, digging and rabbit sticks. It felt like I was back at the Walker Rendezvouses with the Southams--we even use good old fashion cow pies to start our fires. I love it.
One of the greatest highlights was finding wild mint on the edge of a small stream and wild mustard growing in our camp site. I was able to make a delightful minty drink before I went to bed.
The hardest part of the three day training was the dehydration I experienced on the first day out, while collecting resources for the making of our tools. I thought I had been drinking enough liquids and I had even boughten a large Gatorade for the car ride up. But after a couple hours in the Arizona heat my body began to sweat and feel sluggish and my head began to pound. Just a short while after these symptoms started I started to feel like I was going to throw-up: a true sign of dehydration. The field director explained to us how we could evaluate the level of our hydration through a pulse check and also the things we needed to do to stay hydrated. I began hydrating myself right away, after discovering that I was three quarts short of hydration. I felt sick for a couple hours after that, but once the water and food sunk in, my energy and spirits were fully restored. Through this experience I quickly learned the importance of water. I learned that I need to be drinking water not casually and lightly, but that I need to be drinking frequently and deeply. A sip here and there is not enough. Reading my scriptures the next day I came across a passage that refers to Christ as the living water. It struck me then that the same principle I learned about water's role in my physical survival the day before was applicable to my spiritual survival as well. I think too often I have drunken the living water casually, taking small swallows here and there. The world is a deadly place for spirituality and Satan is everywhere, setting up traps and ambushes and beguiling us with his deceitful promises of survival and guidance. In the desert, if I am dehydrated I cannot perform my responsibilities. Eventually, I cannot even function and perform the tasks vital to my survival. Without the living water, without Christ, without the Atonement, and without the Gospel, I cannot survive the wilderness of the world and I cannot perform the service God has asked of me. We need to partake of the living water, but not just casually. We need to drink frequently and deeply in order to hydrate our souls.
Work has been going well--just a lot of training so far. We spent the first three days of training "on the trail" in the north-east Arizona wilderness. We went through a few varying desert climates on our way up to our camping location, gathering supplies from fallen vegetation and learning which plants were useful, edible, medicinal, and deadly. While we were cutting down the stalk of a yucca plant for fire boards a carpenter bee flew out. Inside the stalk was a rich deposit of desert honey, which is a bit grainier in texture but just as good as honey. I'm learning that even in the desert, there are endless resources available to us. I'm also quickly learning that cacti spines are unpleasant in toes and that clothing is the best kind of sunscreen around. I can happily report zero sunburns--thanks to my long sleeves and wide brimmed hat. Thanks for the years of advice, Mom; it has finally sunken in.
During our three days of outdoor training we went to work with our knives and machetes, making our fire sets, bows, knife sheaths, digging and rabbit sticks. It felt like I was back at the Walker Rendezvouses with the Southams--we even use good old fashion cow pies to start our fires. I love it.
One of the greatest highlights was finding wild mint on the edge of a small stream and wild mustard growing in our camp site. I was able to make a delightful minty drink before I went to bed.
The hardest part of the three day training was the dehydration I experienced on the first day out, while collecting resources for the making of our tools. I thought I had been drinking enough liquids and I had even boughten a large Gatorade for the car ride up. But after a couple hours in the Arizona heat my body began to sweat and feel sluggish and my head began to pound. Just a short while after these symptoms started I started to feel like I was going to throw-up: a true sign of dehydration. The field director explained to us how we could evaluate the level of our hydration through a pulse check and also the things we needed to do to stay hydrated. I began hydrating myself right away, after discovering that I was three quarts short of hydration. I felt sick for a couple hours after that, but once the water and food sunk in, my energy and spirits were fully restored. Through this experience I quickly learned the importance of water. I learned that I need to be drinking water not casually and lightly, but that I need to be drinking frequently and deeply. A sip here and there is not enough. Reading my scriptures the next day I came across a passage that refers to Christ as the living water. It struck me then that the same principle I learned about water's role in my physical survival the day before was applicable to my spiritual survival as well. I think too often I have drunken the living water casually, taking small swallows here and there. The world is a deadly place for spirituality and Satan is everywhere, setting up traps and ambushes and beguiling us with his deceitful promises of survival and guidance. In the desert, if I am dehydrated I cannot perform my responsibilities. Eventually, I cannot even function and perform the tasks vital to my survival. Without the living water, without Christ, without the Atonement, and without the Gospel, I cannot survive the wilderness of the world and I cannot perform the service God has asked of me. We need to partake of the living water, but not just casually. We need to drink frequently and deeply in order to hydrate our souls.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Government Health Warning
DO NOT SWALLOW YOUR CHEWING-GUM
See what happens?
This really brightened my day at work. *Giggles*
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